7 ways to tell your book it’s not me… It’s you.

1. Consider tearing out a page at the back and burning it for every page at the front you do actually read. This way you only have half a book to go and you’ve already started a nice little bonfire to cremate its body once the death throes die down.

2. Entertain yourself by marking particularly terrible passages to quote in the scathing Amazon review you’ll leave when it finally ends.

3. Create elaborate charts explaining why the main character should just become a poly lesbian with a random-but-cute background character, who whips the boys in her love triangle into shape… *literally*

4. Create an even more elaborate chart that shows why this makes sense for both the plot and character progression, and why we all agree it would make a *much* better ending anyway.

5. Start furiously writing your own damn novel, with poly lesbians, whippings, charts and freaking *bonfires*, damn it, because anything is better than this crap.

6. When you finish book 5 definitely *do not* buy book 6. I don’t care how many cliffhangers there are. Don’t… do… it…

7. Shit.

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